My Own Journey

Whatever you dream of, whatever you long for – it is possible. And I don’t just say this because I believe in miracles or because I’ve been drawn to spirituality and personal growth since I was a child. I say this because I live it, every single day.

I wake up in the life I once only dreamed of – and it’s EVEN BETTER than I imagined. It keeps getting richer, more beautiful. And no, that doesn’t mean it’s perfect or easy. The challenges are still there, but they have become thresholds – gateways into more depth, aliveness, joy, and love.

My Youth

I grew up in Seitenstetten, a small town in Lower Austria, where my parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents live. My childhood was full of nature, animals, singing, friends, bike rides, family, wonder, love – and of course: challenges.

My parents loved me deeply and gave more than their very best. Yet there were always struggles: health issues, big tensions, and three late miscarriages my mother went through – which meant that I remained their only child. Very early on, I learned to cheer up my parents, to give them hope. After all, I was the one who remained. But inside, I came to a different conclusion: no one remained for me.

That feeling repeated itself later in my relationships. No one stayed. No one wanted to commit. What they wanted from me was sex – at least, that’s what I concluded from my teenage experiences. Sexuality never felt like it belonged to me, it was always for men. I felt empty, used, hurt, robbed of what was most precious to me, and then discarded.

As I write this, I can still feel how much anger I carried towards men back then. Even disgust, even contempt. A part of me longed for a relationship, and another part had completely given up – because the result seemed to be always the same.

And yet, today I can see so clearly how my early conditioning, beliefs, and decisions shaped exactly that reality - and it makes sense. The experiences of our mothers, grandmothers, and the collective continue to live in us.

Love Is Always Here

What I see now is that love was never gone. It was always here. The journey is about allowing it back in and being able to receive it.

When we expand our capacity for goodness, pleasure, and love – and yes, that’s nervous system work – we start making choices in the outer world that align with our deepest happiness.

For me, it’s like tasting the freshest, most vibrant vegetables after years of processed food and sugar. At first, our system doesn’t even know how to receive that much aliveness – it can feel overwhelming, too bright, too intense. But once we update our inner system, we begin to recognize: this is what true nourishment feels like. And this is what we’ve been longing for all along.

Today

I feel this same intensity and aliveness now, living in the jungle of Nosara, Costa Rica, where I’ve been since November 2024. How life led me here is another story – but it began with a decision I made spontaneously a year earlier: to join the VITA Coaching Training with Layla Martin.

At that time, I didn’t even know her. But when I found the program, my whole body screamed YES. It was the first intense full-body yes I had felt in years, and I knew I had to follow it – no matter if it made sense (which it didn’t at the time).

And even though I was into personal development and spirituality long before: That yes changed everything. While I didn’t realize at first that it was a tantric approach, this world continues to fascinate me more and more.

I began to stop using my story against myself, and instead started to understand it. Today, I love men. My sexuality belongs to me. My power and responsibility are more and more in my own hands, which means I can make choices that truly serve me.

I am honored and respected – above all, by myself. I can voice my needs better and better, set healthy boundaries, and allow the walls around my heart to soften. I can let myself fall. I know who I am, and I know my worth.

While I am still single, I now see the kind of men who enter my life – and what becomes possible because of that. I don’t need to chase, prove, or fight for love. I attract it.

I can surrender fully into my femininity and rediscover it anew. From this place, dating feels light and fulfilling – a time that belongs to me and to my growth, with the deep trust that I will be ready when HE stands before me.

And the next chapter begins…